Hi this is another one of my random though posts a (brain fart) if you like. Today we are going to learn exactly why girls always brush off the nice guys.
Now, let’s get too the meat and potatoes of this post of course everyone has heard the phrase (nice guys finish last).
I guess this sucks for nice guys, but it’s completely true and there’s nothing that you or I can really do about it. Most girls are not attracted to nice guys and that is not going to change.
Now with that being said, I truly understand the problems that men face. I mean I’m a guy, so it makes sense that figuring out females is not exactly easy .
As an example, most men try to make girls happy by buying them expensive things, but they get confused, and so they guess and when us guys guess we will a lot of the time think the answer is spending more money.
A friend once told me that he had spent thousands of dollars on a girl he had just met , so I asked how the relationship was going and he said that they had broken up.
When, I asked why ? he said she had cheated on him with a number of other guys and he had found out about it from mutal friends . He not only lost his girlfriend, but he also lost money he couldn’t afford to lose .
Why would a girl cheat on someone who is being so nice? He bought her expensive stuff and was extremly loyal to her and worshiped the ground she walked on. When he asked her why ?.
She had a simple answer for him . “I love you as a friend, but I don’t want to date you. You’re just too much of a nice guy”.
This all begs the question: why do girls treat nice guys this way ? . Well, there are basically three big reasons. The first one is that nice guys are usually fake, now this wasn’t the case with my friend he’s actually a great guy, but many so-called nice guys have secret motives that have nothing to do with being nice.
For example, the man might want to just sleep with her but he doesn’t think that she wants to sleep with him so what does he do? He pretends to be nice? He buys her flowers and chocolate and is there for her when she has problems.
But does he really care about her well-being? No, he wants to sleep with her, and that is the definition of being fake. Another reason girls are not attracted to nice guys is because they are just inexperienced.
This is not causation; rather, it is correlation men who have not experienced real relationships and the heartbreak that comes with it tend to overcommit. They go too far. They do too much and girls think it’s really weird.
Inexperience is obvious, and it can implie a bunch of other unattractive qualities, nervousness dryness lack of humor. These are just some common examples. Girls want someone who is confident and interesting, not someone who’s acting nervous and just staring at them.
Third, people want what they can’t have kids want the candy they never get just like girls want the guy that can’t be with. This is one reason why men who already have girlfriends are usually more sought after by women when he is already in a relationship i.e when he’s off the market, as at this point he seems more attractive because they just can’t have him.
The same principle applies to nice guys, nice guys are very noticeably on the market they’re available, and everyone knows this.
This makes them a commodity, something anyone could get, and thus it diminishes how attractive they are. But the reverse is also true people who act like they don’t care are viewed as more attractive.
This is why sometimes girls actually go for jerks. They aren’t nice, they don’t care about you and they’re hard to get, and yet they sometimes win.
But don’t take this to mean that you should be a jerk. Human decency should never be forgotten because you’re bad at talking girls, most guys think of this problem in a binary way. As in you can either be an overly nice guy or you can be a total jerk, but there’s no in-between.
The above is a really bad way to think about it. Neither of those two extremes are healthy and neither of them will help you build positive, lasting relationships and when I say those words, I’m not trying to be your school counselor or personal therapist.
Most people get their first job because of the connections that they make. The world is a giant network and the smart thing to do is to embrace it positively. So here’s the bottom line don’t be a jerk and don’t be overly nice, because success with girls or people in general won’t be good with either of those strategies.
Now I can understand if you’re feeling a little bit confused right now. I basically just told you that, being nice and being mean are both bad ideas when it comes to girls, and this confusion is a common problem, guys just don’t know how to act, so they use heuristics.
And what are those great questions? Heuristics are policies for solving a problem when you don’t know what to do otherwise, and they say that when people don’t know what to do, they revert to what they know.
So, when guys, don’t know how to act around girls, they think of two common ways being a jerk or being overly nice, so instead I’m going to give you two different approaches. These are simple mental strategies that will help make your personality more natural, open and attractive to the girl that you like.
Strategy, number one convince yourself to like someone else now. Of course, it may seem silly to try this because you’re goimg know who you actually like, but the point is to take her off your mind, so you don’t feel under pressure.
Pressure leads to heuristics, and you already know what those lead to strategy number two the dreaded friendzone.
This may seem counterproductive, but it’s not. The purpose here is twofold. First of all, it again takes them away from your head space,which will allow you to act like you normally would around anyone else.
Second, it makes you hard to get and if there’s anyone who knows how effective that is its modern-day men. thank you for reading my random thoughts in regards to “why women brush off the nice guy’s “.
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